Helping grieving parents heal with photographs

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It’s a topic that rarely gets discussed and is difficult for many of us to even imagine. Every year, hundreds of babies don’t make it home from the hospital, but thanks to a growing volunteer organization, their images are being captured and preserved for their loving parents. That organization is called “Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep”. It pairs volunteer photographers with parents who are giving birth to a stillborn or a baby who is never going to come home with them. In the past, these parents have been encouraged forget the birth, to put it behind them, but this project allows them to create memories and celebrate their child.

In February 2013, Alethea Groff and Roman Pekaruk were days away from delivering their baby girl Elodie. “We went into the hospital for an ultrasound and we just thought it would be in and out, just take our minds off of it. And then they told us there was no heartbeat.” Knowing their daughter would be stillborn, the couple arranged to have a volunteer from “Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep” capture their brief time together.

Photographer, Tonia LaRiviere, didn’t just take pictures, she coaxed Roman into holding his baby girl. “I try and imagine, if that was my baby, what would i want to capture, what pictures would i want to remember. So in doing that I try to get each parent holding the baby, touching their fingers and kissing their toes.”

Roman and Alethea were hesitant about the photoshoot at first, but now they can’t imagine not having pictures of their firstborn daughter. “They wrapped her hand around our fingers. We got to see her feet, and got to put her head against our chests. Even if you don’t look at the photos, you know that you have them and one day if you want to look at them, they’re there.”

Nine months ago, they had another little girl, named Chloe. When she’s older, they plan to share Elodie’s album with her. Roman and Alethea know it’s hard for people to understand, but flipping through Elodie’s pictures has helped them grieve her little life. “It’s comforting to see her again.”

“I think it’s important to keep that memory. They were a real person, they were there once and it’s important” says Tonia LaRiviere. Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep is an international organization and they are in constant need of volunteers.