Tim Bosma: A son and husband remembered

Tim Bosma’s family shared a private day of mourning — as they mark a painful anniversary. It was May 6th, 2013 when Tim was taken away from them. The days after his disappearance were the most difficult days of his loved one’s lives. But they want to honour him — by talking about Tim — and keeping his memory and story out there — in the hope that it’s Tim who people will remember — and not the men accused of murdering him. Tonight we’re hearing from Tim’s parents Hank and Mary — in their only TV interview. For Mary, today is even more painful — as May sixth is her birthday.

Snap shots of moments in Tim Bosma’s life are spilled out across Sharlene Bosma’s kitchen table. His widow and parents want people to have a better picture of Tim — and for the first time since his tragic murder — Hank and Mary have agreed to this TV interview to talk about their only son. They also have 3 daughters. And being raised surrounded by sisters seemed to prepare Tim well for fatherhood.

Mary: “Oh, he was a wonderful father. Everything was about his little girl.  He’d come walking in the house with her.  He was just so proud of her.”

Hank: “He loved his daughter. He just loved his daughter. Pictures of him that Saturday before he disappeared out by the trailer. Those pictures, them are treasures.”

Hank and Mary say Tim was always an outdoorsy guy. He loved fishing — camping — skiing — snowmobiling. Anything that involved being outside. And as they pour over pictures of him — they remember him fondly.

Mary: “Always joking around laughing. Funny guys. Yup, lot of fun. Skinny little thing. Blonde as can be.”

But they’ve dealt with a lot of emotion in the last 12 months. Much of it very difficult to process.

Hank: “We have moments — we cry, we laugh. We talk about Tim a lot.”

Mary: “Well, its always there. So I say you try not to think about it but its always there. But I just don’t want to have that self pity and feel sorry for myself attitude. So you get up, you get dressed — and you just do what you can and try to make a good day of it.”

And while Sharlene has stepped up as the family spokesperson — to try and shield everyone else from the difficult task — she says the support from Hank and Mary — and their family and friends has been crucial in enabling her to be strong enough to handle that role.

Sharlene: “Something like this can rip a family apart or make it stronger — but we are stronger because we have a greater appreciation for everyone else.”

All three say their faith has been tested in the last year. But it also gives them comfort that they will see Tim again. And as they keep his memory alive in pictures and home videos — his parents are proud that the charity in Tim’s name will help other families dealing with something that if you haven’t experienced before you can’t really understand.

Mary: “It’s overwhelming at times that all of this is going on to begin with. And then — we’re very proud that Tim’s Tribute is going. And we just hope we can help some of the victims.”

Hank:  “It’s more like there’s some good that’s come out of this evil. That’s the way we look at it.”

While the Bosma family is mourning and remembering Tim privately tonight — Sharlene Bosma continues to be upfront and open about how she’s dealt with her husband’s death. Her goal is to shift the focus of the public’s attention not just to Tim — but to the real victims of horrific crimes and not the killers. Here she talks about how close she holds Tim — through the pain of the last twelve months.

Sharlene Bosma still wears her wedding rings. Still considers herself married. And because any of Tim’s belongings recovered by investigators are evidence — she had a replica of Tim’s wedding ring that fits her finger. It’s another way she keeps him close — after the worst year of her life.

“In one way, it’s gone really quickly. Seems like yesterday he was here. But then think about how much has happened in the past year. More firsts than I care to think about.”

First birthdays — Christmas — holidays, weddings and funerals. All family events. And all without Tim. It clearly pains Sharlene to be as honest about this as she is. And she’s also not afraid to admit to how hard it is to go out in public — after Tim’s case has received so much attention.

“If I ever, when I ever do go out. When I do leave the house it’s about control of emotions and not losing it when I’m out. Sometimes it just gets you. Can be the smallest thing and it’s like you’re drowning in it.”

Nick: “Recently we were all surprised to hear about new murder charges against two people accused in Tim’s disappearance. Do you ever let yourself — or does it ever cross your mind that had investigators done a better job in those cases that I wouldn’t be sitting here now, and that Tim would be?”

“I don’t think it’s fair at this point to comment on the Toronto investigation because we don’t really know much about it. Don’t think it would be fair to judge them at this point. On any of that.”